you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
false alarm, still single
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