How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
