I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
