i jhust puked up my retainher.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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