I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
