So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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