thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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