I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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