people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
