I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
