umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
