sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
