weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't been this sober since birth.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
