ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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