I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
