i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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