i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
