I am in a vortex of obligation.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
