First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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