we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So squirting runs in the family.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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