so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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