i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
