Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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