Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
