My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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