just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
