I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
