This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
