Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
