Swine flu. Run for my life!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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