I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
