he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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