the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You are the jesus of drinking
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
