went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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