I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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