im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
