I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
