I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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