He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
