apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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