fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
