all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
