i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
