I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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