stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
