how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
