It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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