Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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