why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
