Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
