I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize