My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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